Ya Allah...

"I'm shocked... devastated... I don't believe what u did yesterday... And then u say I'M OVER-REACTING??? HOW DARE YOU??? Instead of apologizing, u just sat there... smiling disbelievingly... Yes. My mood did change in less than a millisecond. I am a woman with an over-complexed set of feelings and measures of what hurts and what doesnt, so different than ur own measures... Because ur a MAN! And then u say 'what i said doesnt really deserve all that' Well, in ur dictionary it doesnt but in mine it does. "

"Hey, Sara, is it ok with u if I go see my friends for an hour? and be back?"

Oh my God!! Ya Allah!! I dont believe what u just said??? come again??? 1 hour??? And I'm just supposed to sit there at the club waiting for 'ur majesty' to get back??

Is this a relationship? Is this how a man is supposed to treat his fiance'? It must've been a bad dream? A nightmare? Reality-check, it's true! Yes. He did do what I think he did. He preferred to be with his friends at that moment than me. U may ask how many times do u see each other? Once a week is the answer, for a few hours... But now it's 2 hours because yesterday I was dumb-founded with the question... It's ok to cancel our appointment if u have other arrangements... I totally dont mind... But dont just do what u did... It's too hurtful...


Please Allah, Merciful Allah, forgive me for my sins what I meant to do and what I didnt... Ya Allah, lead me to the right way, You are the Most-Gracious. Astaghferallah el Azeem, to you I repent...

I dont know what to do anymore.