Just Graduated!!!

Yaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy!!! Graduation is soooo fun, especially that I'm unemployed now LOL...
Should begin to pursue my career LOL.... Enshaa Allah.

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The lump I've been telling u about: miraculously, it went down on its own, maybe it was due to stress or something... Allah knows. What matters is that Im better now, and I deserve a break LOL.

C u all l8r :)

Lump Thump Bump...

Today is officially the day before I graduate from college... Happy day, huh? I am. And I feel tomorrow the excitement will be intoxicating, but, hey!! Dont blame me for being tired after 2 months and a half of being drained of ur energy and health. Im practically unhealthy right now, I ate junk whenever I felt like it because I dont feel like preparing something healthy...

Tomorrow, same time, Ill be done with college and glad...

I do believe that we are supposed to take each phase as it comes and do our best: school, college, work, being a kid, a teen or an adult...

There's no need to cry because a certain phase has ended because many phases are coming and many will end... Girls at college are going to sob and cry because they'll miss each other, they can still be in contact and remain friends. Im sad too but I wont cry, I've suffered too much so enshaa Allah the next phase will be better.

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Yesterday, I woke up and felt pain in a specific spot behind my ear, I felt a small lump which hurts a bit. Prolly a lymph node infection or something, that will have to wait until I've graduated LOL. Enshaa Allah I just want to do well in the exam and then I'll go to the doctor.

Ya rab, Ill try to be the best muslim I can in every phase and try to be a good role model of the manners and ethics of Islam... I hope I can do it.

Was it worth the tears you cried?

The summer sun has come to stay Bikinis, tans, outrageous legs

They're all retarded and they all look the same

And Barbie's body's melting down

On her face a big fat frown

Because "Mr. Cellulite" just moved into town

Well me and B, we hate supermodels

It's not that we know anyone personally

It's just that I'm tired of being compared

The boys they come here

With expectations for the summer

And I refuse to take any part of this barbaric ritual

Because God has given me a mind

That I will use from time to time

And I got more on my head that what's made by Paul Mitchell

Well me and B, we hate supermodels

It's not that we know anyone personally

It's just that I'm tired of being compared

Was it worth the tears you cried to fit the size?

Think it over once or twice

What lasts the longest in this life

Character or rock hard thighs

And in the end do you believe that

beauty lies in what you see

Because if you do then baby

You've been deceived

Oh My God!!! This song is soooo true... I especially feel the last paragraph it's amazing...

I mean I go to the beach, I love the crystal clear ocean, I love the wind that breezes on my face but everywhere i look there are ridiculously naked women who just think they look great showing it off like that.

Well, hey!!! Just because I'm a muslim in hijab doesnt mean I cant enjoy the beach too, but I do so with my integrity and character intact, it's not wounded and cut with men's eyes literally putting a hole through my body. Thanks Allah for making me the way I am... I DONT want to be like them

I have cried the tears before not because Im fat, but because humans are soo greedy they want MORE of everything we are never satisfied with what he have and just say "It could have been worse". So why not be satisfied right now???

That said: I just feel that "little means more" (little that is soo good for us is better than lots and lots that we jus cant feel what we have anymore)

"Elhamdulilah, Thanks God, for every little and big thing we are blessed with everyday"

Pleading

Im pleading guilty... I made a mistake... I made a promise (ahd) with Allah and I didnt keep it

I more or less do it on and off and now I hate myself and dont know what to do

But this time I SWEAR it wont happen again... and I will not let everyday forgetful stresses take a toll on me and pull me down... That's just not going to happen again... EVER

I may have a problem now, but problems dont last forever and then do get solved

So why do I take out on myself??? I wont... Enshaa Allah I wont... God Willing this will not happen again

Please God forgive me and dont ounish me for what I've done to myself you are the Most Gracious and Most Divine help me help myself Ya rab...

Estaghferallah El3azeem

Peace of Allah

Insomnia
by Ziad bin Ghulam

Trying to sleep but my eyes open wide

With voices whispering from every side
Battles in my mind and nowhere to hide
a futile resistance against the rising tide

Thought after thought taunting my soul
As this constant barrage takes its toll
Eating away slowly now a gaping hole
My mind going crazy and out of control

I search frantically and fail in despair
For something elusive which was always there
Something tossed away without a care
its prolonged absence I can no longer bear

Peace of mind I no longer possess,
A nightmarish life I must confess
So much hardships and so much stress
A constant companion is pain and distress

Tossing and turning all night long
miserable and sad -everything is wrong
what is life? and where do I belong?
Millions of questions and all answers gone

My heart is riddled with grief and sorrow
And with these thoughts my tears flow
All hope lost my heart sinks low
Without a care what happens tomorrow

Finely balanced on the edge of a knife
I see the stranger who lives my life
an emotionless tyrant causing havoc and strife
A corrupted soul where ignorance is rife

My whole world is hypocrisy and lies
And no more goodness do I recognize
Everything I possess I begin to despise
And this voice inside, I hear its cries

Of a promise made before the days of old
In a meeting with my lord - I am told
That forever in my heart, tawheed I would hold
A promise broken for a miserable price sold

This murmuring voice so long ignored
To delay it further, I can not afford
So this mission of truth, I have taken aboard
With conviction my shield and truth my sword

An uphill struggle an eternal fight
Battle-lines drawn between wrong and right
Returning to my lord, I head for the light
Submerged in Salah is my only respite

Lifting my hands to my lord I pray
let ignorance go and let faith stay

Through your mercy show me the way
Give me guidance so that I can obey

With an open heart I read the Quran
I discover my Creator's will and plan
Word of my Lord, a guidance for man
Missing pieces restored now I am one

Content and happy, no more tears to weep
Content and happy, I fall asleep
Peace and happiness with faith running deep
Peace and happiness - forever to keep

Just finished exam #4 or #5 dont remember actually. Maybe my brain is getting cramped from all of this, can't blame the poor thing... lol

On one of our so called "Projects" the assignment was to visit a governmental hospital with a survey about about hypertensive people (people suffering from high blood pressure), and ask about what drugs their using, whether they've experienced any side effects and so on. So, my sister, a friend M. and I decide we will do this assignment genuinely (i.e. not make up names and create drugs taken). We didnt want to cheat, how hard could it be?? I mean enter hospital, talk to 5 patients 5 minutes each and leave... Piece of cake...

We went to the hospital and got lost for a bit until we found the cardiovascular ward and scatter for each one of us to talk to someone, here's how it went:

"Good Morning, could I ask u a few questions about your hypertension?"

"Why? Are u a college student? Is this some kind of assignment?" (Very Skeptic)

"Yes I'm a Pharmacy Student, and it is an assignment we'll get marks for it so I'd really appreciate it if u help me"

"Ok. Ur like a daughter to me. Ill help U."

(I ask a few questions but then he gets offpoint and gets into his personal life)

"I hate having girls (he has 2 daughters) they are very bad people and treat me very bad. one of them got divorced and married another man. And though she works she still takes money from me. What am I supposed to do? I HATE THEM! I DO!! (he spat)"

I was very sorry to hear a frustrated man complain about his daughters who are supposed to be the apple of his eye. On top of that, he hates them... he really said that with detest.

"I'm sure they dont mean anything. But, we're 3 daughters and our father doesnt hate us."

"U look like a very well-bred girl I dont think u would do that to your father"

(and then I would try to get back to the questionnaire)

It was truly a humane experience but we still had fun and learned alot too.